


are you sure you dont use a ruler, liek seriously

by qeenbunbun



Series: idk why not? [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: <3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333, FUCK IT YOURE WONDERFUL, IM GOING TO REGRET THIS PROBABLY, MEE, Oohhh, Other, even - Freeform, guees whose adding tags, im drunk and warm, is this too much, left boob, porbAblt, porbely, probably, probebly, so many 3thress, the a, why does it look
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-05-11 18:57:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 2,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5638195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qeenbunbun/pseuds/qeenbunbun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>:-D</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

so straight and neat,  
everything i am not,   
inspiring of adoration,   
doubt it's ever seen a knot,   
and fuck me if you ever find,  
one such as hers,  
not a strand out of place,   
this not often occurs,  
now I am in the middle,  
or at least starting,   
to see the elegance,  
in that damn bloody parting.


	2. m.jkson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ooooh, found one. NEVER MIND IT WAS THE CRINGIEST THING EVER IM GOING TO MAKE ONE UP INSTEAD.

Rain splatters against the window and it feels rather safe, doesn't it?

funny how despite all logic, such novel comforts could convince you 

nothing in the _world_ could hurt you.

touch you. 

the gentle taps against the window, 

losing yourself to the rhythm.

tip, tap

tip, tap

tip, tip, tap.

I don't need to be alive right now.

so I'm not. 

 


	3. so smol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is probably too emotional and uncomfortable, I was drunk writing this but that probably means I was just less reserved. This will probably creep you out so I wouldn't actually read it for a while. See you tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is awful but mostly rhyming

I wonder if my words could ever bring justice,  
to the beauty of what can grasp  
both my gaze and my heart in one fell swoop,  
upon holding I admit I did Gasp.  
small so small petite and pale  
the perfect shape, of course,  
smooth and perfect down to the nail,  
oh fuck they're so cute,  
i can barely contain,  
how seeing your smile,  
just drives me insane,  
this poem is sloppy,  
but I'm rather pissed,  
a million things to say about you,  
i could probably write a list,  
but how do you start,  
and when would it end,  
Am I too sentimental,  
i suppose that would depend,  
how long does it take,  
with someone as encapsulating as you,  
to fall so hard,  
and so rapidly too.  
this poem was originally about your smol hands,  
but i got distracted- you have that effect  
thinking about just you,  
its hard not to reflect,  
on your radiant smile,  
that exasperated sigh,  
your constant rolling eyes,  
makes me wonder why,  
why I am blessed to be in the same existence,  
how you are alive and actually like me back,  
how your hair frames your face so perfect,  
one could scarcely keep track,  
I'm really drunk and tired but still,  
I smile and smile and smile and smile  
and all the while  
thinking of yours.


	4. WOAH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WOAH
> 
>  
> 
> IM NOT DRUNK WHATSOEVER AT ALL WHATSOEVER

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,

YOU'RE FUCKING GREAT 

WOAH

OH MY GOD

WOW

WOAAAHAHAHAHAHHHHHH

WHAT THE FUCK

( line deleted for purposes regarding dignity ) 

WHAT THE FUUCCKKKK

WOOOAAAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOT DRUNK NOSIIIREEEEEEEE 
> 
>  
> 
> IT TOOK ME 3 MINUTES TO WRITE THIS CORRECTLY


	5. Chapter 5

I always fear,

fear fear fear,

if I'm too late,

if I'm too much,

if I'm too this,

if I'm too that,

I know its vain,

I fear I fear I fear,

constantly afraid,

its terribly tiring,

maybe that's why we sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My random poetry doesn't rhyme and only seems to make sense when I'm sad.  
> SORRY <333

Its nice under the stairs,  
Where they can't see you,  
Nice under the stairs,  
Where they can't feel you,  
Under the stairs,  
Where its dim and cold,  
The stairs the stairs,  
So used and old,  
Stairs stairs stairs stairs,  
I fell asleep beneath the stares,  
Woke up crying and vulnerable,   
I heard a cry beneath the stares,   
I wonder whose it was.


	7. Chapter 7

Potato is a funny word

 

Potato

 

 

Huh


	8. Chapter 8

I've never done it before  
Yet I ache for it so,  
With each moment I want more,  
Of what, of what,  
I'm not entirely sure,  
But I saw you sitting miles away,  
Cool collected and calm  
Whilst I itched for something I can't explain,  
I'm certain you are the balm,  
Weird how this invisible rope,  
Tightens on its coil,  
Twist me turn me choke me to death  
And lay me under the soil,  
Yet staring at you now I feel alive,  
Or perhaps I feel a dread,  
That your amusement of me will not last  
And I would much rather be dead.


	9. Chapter 9

sunlight stings my eyes,   
but my heart is full to burst,  
if it didn't feel so good,  
I think I might feel cursed,  
because your being is an addiction,  
cannot tear my eyes away,  
everything you are is an ocean of beauty,   
and my heart's ship within it does sway,  
I fear i may sound too attached,  
but in truth i probably am,  
for your fire is bright and dangerously hot,  
and i follow it like a lamb,  
So i stare and stare and stare and blush,  
I get such a rush,  
from watching you live,  
alive and breathing,  
that endearing sigh,   
the sound of your laugh,  
I shall not lie,  
but you carve out a path,  
and wherever it goes,  
my little lamb follows you,  
of how it not knows,  
but it feels your warmth,   
as i feel your smile,  
every pun every word,  
my lamb walks a mile


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Im starting to think this lil thing might creep you out, so yeah, sorrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy im a creep i'm a weeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiirdoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, what the hell am i doing heeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeee i dont belooonnng heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeererereeeeeeeeeeeeeee
> 
>  
> 
> sorry again it seemed relevant also thing.

oh fuck me sideways,  
from the very first touch,  
all i want is a little more,

because honestly your feel,  
your small small hands,  
warms me to my very core,

i never have- so this is odd,  
never felt this urge so strong,

but for some reason i feel a need,  
to hold you for so very long,

you look so warm and cozy still,  
like a jumper to wrap up within,

i wonder how you'd react if i told you,  
I ache to feel your skin.


	11. Chapter 11

oh what did I do to deserve you,

all pale skin and radiant smile,

I felt your palm in front of them,

how beautiful, how vile.

my stomach sways at the sight of you,

and your voice- well I shall admit,

makes me fluster

I need to muster

all my strength to handle it.

and while I sit here pondering you,

I wonder how indeed you do,

is it clingy or slightly wrong,

to worry about you when silent for long,

I understand it's stupid,

and you have explained before,

that its really is nothing, you're fine,

not lying still on the floor.

maybe its my imagination,

or I need constant repetition,

or seeking some kind of validation,

to know there is no competition,

and for that I'm sorry,

truly I am,

to ignore you in favour

of a small timid lamb,

to repeat the metaphor,

if I may,

but my wounds are fresh,

and i hope you're okay.

 

 

 

I worry about you,

for I see you have them too,

and I want to hide you in safety,

protected out of view.

 

 

I hope you don't mind,

I felt the scars on your arm,

 

I suppose we're matching,

but it does not bring calm,

in my mind sounds an alarm,

I worry about you

I love you so much,

I'm scared you might lose yourself,

to your own touch,

 

this may be incredibly inaccurate,

it probably is,

but I worry about you,

I worry about this.

 

 

 

maybe its just some selfish reflection,

or a look from the other side,

because I kill myself all the time,

I'm scared you'll say youre fine

I'm scared you will have lied.

 

 

 

I don't deserve to know,

just know that i can,

if you're sad please don't hide it,

you can confide it,

or even just cry,

but know I am Here,

at your service my queen,

for say nothing at all,

or get up and scream,

 

 

you are so strong,

stronger than us all,

but don't lose your balance,

don't let yourself fall,

 

ill catch you if you let me,

 

light as a motherfucking feather <33

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seriously its like do you need more fiber its so embarrassing

Do you have any idea how emotional I've been on the toilet lately ,

I don't think anyone's ever cried on the toilet as many times in a week,

20 fucking minutes at a time and I come out with tears stains on my face,

I think my family thinks medical help; I should probably seek.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MIGHT AS WELLL JUST CHUCK IT ON HERE ANYWAY <33

You are a beacon of peace upon a war my darling, a conductor of light so to say, for darkness may not know your name, if you continue on this way, though you may feel consumed or suffocated, want to scream and hurt, you have an effect that brings brightness upon thee, if one is to put it rather curt. (ains)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Really short Poems I wrote about you a while ago in the pug book

Softly,  
Softly,  
Then all at once,  
That is how your tide came to rinse my island,  
Now I have come to crave your seas,  
Will you let me swim?


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MORE INCREDUBLY SHORT POEM FROM AGES AGO

You touched me where I was rawest  
Leaving your mark  
A faint tattoo above my breast  
I hope it doesn't fade


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This id so short I don't even think it counts but mEH FROM PAST ME

You tell you want to hold me  
Whilst I sit by the fire  
I pretend its warmth is you


	17. ..

I am sick   
I am sick   
I am sick with fear,  
I do not believe I could hold someone so dear,  
Bile stings my throat and my eyes begin to tear,  
I'm sick  
I'm sick  
I'm sick with fear,  
For I love you so much and my sentiment sincere if you left I wouldn't last a year,  
I fear  
I fear  
I fear i'm sick


	18. Chapter 18

So scared to lose you  
So scared to bruise you  
So nervous and scared I think it would confuse you

Or you would understand and I would not  
I certainly don't I still haven't got  
Why I can be so happy and yet so sad  
By now I can say it is driving me mad

How many times must this conversation be had

With me myself and I about how this is bad

That I feel a constant thrum of dark energy ripple beneath my skin   
Twisting and choking until I let it in   
A cold dark fear  
An anxiety that cripples me   
Takes everything I hold dear   
And holds it over my head  
Imagined them dead  
Or in excruciating pain  
That I put them in   
So I can feel the same

Watch how they torture you torture me   
Because my own mind does not give up easily

And imagination of horrors laid flat out on the table

A challenge of sorts, don't cry don't hurt myself, to see if I am able

What sort of fucked up shit inspires such self torment   
When they finally have a reason to be happy   
The most - 

I just got some messages through from you and holy ducking fuck   
You must be the only person in the world   
That can so EASILY just render my unrelenting pain and hurt and

Its like my depression begins to slowly creep back as it has been for a year and you just tell it to fuck off and it does 

It does

You are such a complete ray of utter sunshine and happiness that brings a warmth into my life that fills me with such a happiness and contentedness you are so beautiful and brilliant I love you I love you i love you I cannot believe you spent 2 wHOLE HOURS DOING HOMEWORK IM SO PROUD BABE <33


	19. Chapter 19

I was walking home when I realised  
That you wanted space   
Id been holding you all day  
And I simply must say  
Where I thought I was showing restraint   
I was smothering you   
And yet not to date   
Have I fucked up so great  
It makes me irrate   
And probably you too   
You literally said we should practise keeping distance   
And I didn't take the fucking hint   
I ever again call this fucking stint   
I'll probably cry twice as hard 

Its a stupid thing but I suppose its better to get it out than in and fucking hell I'm sorry you literally said you wanted space and I was like waAHT? WHAT S TH AT? Oh gosh I'm so sorry I cant fucking believe I kept asking you if you were okay and then every time you made it clear it wasn't I didn't even understand oh gosh I'm so sorry I'm so sorry I'm so sorry l


	20. Yyyyyyyyup

Im drunk and i love you  
I wonder if you do too 

 

 

I really really love you

 

Thats kinda scary

 

I hope youre okay 

 

 

 

Your everything is beautiful  
Your body is beautiful  
Your mind is beautiful   
Your soul is beautiful  
You are beautiful

 

 

 

 

Dang


	21. Chapter 21

Ive written in verse   
Ive written in prose  
Nobody cares  
Nobody knows  
How many have i kept secret  
Lying in wait to be revealed  
Too much too many too ugly to be  
Shown thats why i keep them sealed  
I wait until im healed  
Then i look back  
Feel a raw wound   
See what I lack   
I lack the confidence and honesty  
That would out these out in front of you  
But honestly i can clearly see   
They perhaps wont even see you  
For until i can see you  
I wish you couldnt see me   
But i am bare and skinned and raw  
For all the world to agree  
How disgusting it is.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dont read this

Ive cried for you a thousand times,  
Sobbed and sobbed on the bedroom floor,  
Ive cried for you a thousand times,  
I am certain I shall cry still more,

One occasion you hadnt replied,  
For such a long long time,  
And in truth i was scared you died,  
You couldnt breath and passed out 4 times  
And as you grieved i grieved for you   
Scared of what you might do  
But worst of all a searing empathy that i would do it too


End file.
